June 20, 2010

I should have seen it coming

I told y'all shit was too good to be true. Of course, I was stupidly awaiting catastrophe. But no, ohhh no, that would be too easy for my life. Instead the last couple of weeks have brought a relentless stream of aggravation, frustration, and disappointment. Smacked in the face by a meteor? Ha! Try, pecked to death by chickens.

I've been griping on AKoP about my ongoing saga with contacts and glasses. Hopefully that gets worked out this next week.

We bought curtains last Sunday. It's been hotter than Satan's nutsack in here, thanks to the sun blazing in at all hours. And temperature-wise, they're a marked improvement. But I can't bear to look at them; they're soul-suckingly ugly. Gross khaki panels that turn mustardy yellow when the sun shines behind them. No sheers, no tie-backs, no pretty rods or valences. Maybe I've watched too much HGTV in my life, but dammit I believe in window treatments. Function and form. Instead I got these...

The worst part is, we waited for weeks until Doug was sure we had the cash. Then, yesterday happened.

I went out for my hair appointment against my better judgment. I'd been thinking I should wait until my glasses drama is sorted. I got there early and lost all track of time flipping through style books. Next thing you know this woman comes in and says she's Morgan's 2:00 client. Hold up. I'm Morgan's 1:30 client. What time is it? Ten to two. So after I wasted that gas and my time I still decided to re-schedule. I don't want him rushing me. Better I should wait.

Annoyed, I came home to see if Doug wanted something to eat. We decided on Chinese, called it in, and drove out to pick it up. Here's where I'm actually glad I bailed on Morgan. Our fucking checking account was overdrawn. Debit declined. I guess we didn't have the cash for those monstrous curtains after all.

Y'all have no idea how much this horrifies me. I got no damned idea how we got in the hole, but our savings is shot and Doug doesn't get paid until Friday. We don't have any credit cards. You heard me. I fear debt like normal people fear disease.

Confession: I am useless when it comes to money. Doug has handled all our finances ever since we've been together. And he's been awesome at it. We have never overdrawn a checking account before, and it's been 10 year since we paid a bill late. But something has come over him lately. Twice this year AT&T has texted me saying our bill was past due. And now this? For whatever reason his head is suddenly not in the game. He has no explanation. Up until yesterday he just got defensive and pissy when I tried to get him to talk about it.

But this checking account thing, I can't even be mad. It's no fun to be mad at someone when they're utterly pissed at themselves. Which is another way of saying, I wish I didn't have to be strong and reassuring with him right now. I'd like to just be angry and disappointed myself.

I don't know, maybe we've just gotten ahead of ourselves. Come my first paycheck in August, we will finally join the middle class. We've been fantasizing about a car, a king size bed, and new clothes for us both. I do okay when I can pretend we're in our mid-20's -- just out of college, just getting started. Right where we need to be if you see it like that. But we've endured a long hard slog to get ourselves educated and employed. Want to know a secret? We're well past our mid-20's.

I'm done now. I could go on but I won't. Anyone who read this far into this whine festival now deserves a break. Tomorrow I'll try to write up the bright side.


  1. 1. Past you mid-20? This is news to me...why wasn't I notified of this previously?

    2. Really? Bad curtains? Have you completely lost every single gay male friend since moving to Atlanta? If you would have told me earlier I could have told my roommate to stop in. Spent the night Thursday in Atlanta. I am sure he could have come up with a very low cost fix to liven it up.

    2. I have a feeling that if you pine for the kind of life one paycheck can provide, you are either not arriving at the middle class or you are hedge fund manager.

  2. I feel your pain. I've had $7.36 in my checking account for two weeks now. It'll get better. Just think about all that sweet cash you get in August... that's what's keeping me going.


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