Instead here I'm stuck a-thinking. Mostly about these posts from Courtney's blog, which (unintentionally I'm sure) kind of shamed me.
No denying, I'm not very real in this-here webspace. I didn't start it for that purpose, which I cling to as an excuse I guess. I took to the blogging for two reasons (for washed up limited preppers never die).
- I wanted to overwrite an unsatisfactory online "self" as a part of my job search.
- I was getting a lot of "Oh I wish I could cook" [insert peasant dish here] and thinking, "Dude. If I can, freakin anybody can."
But back to the point, which is my lack of realness. I could log on and bitch. Lord knows I've got material.
For one? Too. Many. Students.
And too many mandatory faculty obligations.
Backaches that have come back at their worst in 5+ years.
The parade of ailments (two colds and an eye infection, if you want to keep score).
Weird, unsettling dreams.
A gnawing sense that building a respectable speech team -- in a place where folks don't even know the basic vocabulary -- is Mission Effing Impossible.
Piles, literal PILES of dust on just about every surface I see.
Paralyzing terror when I think about adding PhD classes to this already overflowing plate.
And missing cooking. I mean for real. The sharp-knife-through-vegetables catharsis that probably saved my life in 2009, the daily sense of accomplishment... I miss it! Never mind all the piles of delicious, homemade, from-scratch food.
None of which is to say I'm miserable, or even all that unhappy. I have my down days. Which, who the hell doesn't, right? My life ain't never been shiny...
For now though, it's surprisingly happy.
I am going to leave a perhaps unsatisfactory comment. Here it goes.
ReplyDeleteI am so FREAKING STOKED that you used the word "inferred" in the first line of your post because I had a conversation about the word today. My 3rd grade niece was talking about school and mentioned something about one of their "inferred questions." I was a little flabbergasted that a third grader. The 10th grade niece chimed in to say she knew it as well. I asked them both directly what the definition of the word "infer" was. The 3rd grader started and the 10th grader finished for her. She basically said it meant to guess. Good enough for me. Then their father (my brother) tried to correct her. He said it meant to tell something with out actually saying it.
I didn't correct him. I just said that it is a commonly misused word. I didn't imply that someone was wrong in this discussion, but someone might have inferred so......
:-)
There's a great article on this month's Wired about how the zeitgeist of our time s changing to a rentership society and that homeownership (and owning lots of other things) is actually not a good idea. Read it-- you'll feel way better.
ReplyDeleteI wish to god we rented this fucking place because then at least we'd be able to MOVE OUT when we wanted to. Were stuck here for the foreseeable future, and it BLOWS.
I love that you're blogging again-- I have missed you my friend.